"Mistrust those in whom the urge to punish is strong." Friedrich Nietzche

"Any and all non-violent, non-coercive, non-larcenous, consensual adult behavior that does not physically harm other people or their property or directly and immediately endangers same, that does not disturb the peace or create a public nuisance, and that is done in private, especially on private property, is the inalienable right of all adults. In a truly free and liberty-loving society, ruled by a secular government, no laws should be passed to prohibit such behavior. Any laws now existing that are contrary to the above definition of inalienable rights are violations of the rights of adults and should be made null and void." D. M. Mitchell (from The Myth of Inalienable Rights, at: http://dowehaverights.blogspot.com/)

Monday, October 01, 2012

Whores

Whore, prostitute, call girl, escort, they're all the same. They are people who get paid to have sex with other people. And, while there are some male prostitutes and escorts, most are women. To most adults in America prostitutes are considered to be terrible women. Oh my God! Having sex for money. How disgusting and degrading and, and ... and just wrong! But why is it wrong?

What's wrong with sex? Well, I can think of three things right off the top of my head: unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmissible diseases, and non-consensual sex. Non-consensual sex is rape, and a child under a certain age--usually 18 in most states--is presumed not able to know enough to make a consensual decision to have sex. I won't argue that point with anyone under the age of 15, but how is it that a girl who is 17 years, 364 days old is unable to consent to sex, but the next day, on her 18th birthday, she is? That is a puzzlement.

As to the issues of disease and pregnancies, the simplest answer is the condom. Properly used it prevents both unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmissible diseases. Assuming that a women is sure that her sex partner has no such diseases and he prefers not to use a condom--for the greater sensation going condom free provides him--then there are several options for birth control a woman can use. Still, the condom is the cheapest and simplest birth control method with about a 98% effectiveness if properly used.

We have sex for two reasons and two reasons only: to make babies, and because it feels good. If sex doesn't feel good then you're probably doing it wrong. Of course some men don't really care if it feels good for the woman just as long as it feels good for them. My advice to women with such men is to run, do not walk, away from them. There are a lot of good men out there who want you to be able to enjoy sex also.

If sex didn't feel good, especially for the men, then we wouldn't have 7 billion people on this planet. Hell, we may have died out as a species if sex didn't feel good. Which brings us back to whores.

Whores do not have sex with men (the typical such encounter) for the pleasure they derive from the sex act, although they certainly could enjoy it. No, they are in business. It's a way to make money and if they are good enough at it they can make a lot of money.

A women could have sex with a man and not get paid and the legal system could care less. One girlfriend I had and stayed with for nearly eight years, told me shortly after meeting and going to bed, that she had already had sex with over 100 men. She was 24 at the time. We went on to connect with various other people, married couples or boyfriend and girlfriend, for sex. We were "swingers." All consensual adult behavior without the worry of going to jail for it ... and a whole lot of yummy sex.

But way back when, in Merry Old England and, I imagine, in the early American Colonies, back in the bad old days, an unmarried women who had sex and got pregnant and no father was found or came forth, that women could be thrown in prison for one year. Also, the "bastard" child was to be considered on the level of a prostitute, thief, or beggar. (Same link as above.)

As a society we've gotten over the need to punish a women with jail time for having a baby out of wedlock, although I am sure there are many who still would like to do that. But why haven't we gotten over issue of sex for hire? Many men don't have a women with which to have sex on a regular basis. Many married men don't get all the sex they desire. The sex drive is a natural human behavior and it is quite strong--more so in some people than in others and even women can have strong libidoes. (However, a woman wanting to have sex can usually and quite easily find a man or several of them who will gladly help her out. Not so with the average man.)

When I talk about whores and prostitutes (whore seems to have a much harsher conotation, does it not?) I am not talking about teen-agers who run away then get forced into, quite often, drug-induced prostitution. I am most definitely not talking about sex slavery. The out-and-out slaver and the pimps who hold their "girls" in virtually slavery, are extremely evil people and are a danger to all in society. I consider them to be the same as mass murderers. But there are some prostitutes that are independent or working for a pimp or madam that treats them with kindness, respect, and dignity, and who don't mind having sex with  a variety of men.

Does prostitution threaten family life? If a married man goes to a prostitute does that mean he's going to leave his wife? Hardly. He goes to a prostitute for one of three reasons: the experience of having sex with a women other than his wife; or he feels he doesn't get enough sex from his wife; or he can have the prostitute do things that he's always wanted to experience, but his wife won't do them.

But here's the thing, with all the "hook-up" dating sites on the internet, a married man, if he wanted to, could hook-up with like-minded women to have sex. That, I believe, would be a threat to his marriage. Paying a prostitute to give him "head" and swallow, or to have anal sex, is not likely to be a threat to his marriage. He knows he's paying for it. The whore isn't going to run away with him and start a new life. He gets an experience that he wants but his wife, for whatever reasons, doesn't provide.

Besides, a man might love his wife, his family, love coming home at the end of the day to spend time with them, but still desire more or different sex than his wife wants to provide. Going to a prostitute would probably help that man and, thereby, help his relationship with his wife and family.

The fact is that the laws against prostitution are based on religious beliefs and are, in fact, violative of the principle of inalienable rights. This behavior is immoral, therefore it should be illegal. But, as pointed out above, once it was legal to put unwed mothers in prison, but we got over it. Now it is time to stop the criminalization of consensual adult sex for hire.

Like the criminal justice problem associated with the presently illegal drugs, most of the criminal justice problem associated with prostitution is caused by its illegality. If prostitution were legal and disputes between prostitutes and customers were able to be taken to open court, then the need for pimps would diminish, maybe go away altogether. More independent prostitutes could advertise and make a living without having to give up a substantial portion of her earnings to the pimp or worry about going to jail. More "madams" like the D.C. Madam, Deborah Jane Palfrey, who looked for strong, independent, educated women and, evidently, treated them well, would be able to exist.

And, as mentioned above, there is the religious element to the anti-prostitution laws and to all but church sanctioned types of sexual expression. Joel Kramer and Diana Alstad in their book The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power, states it like this:
Religions all want everyone's major emotional bond to be with whatever god figure the religion presents. If the most important thing is salvation--whether of one's soul as in the West, or progressing along the reincarnative chain as in the East--then anything that distracts from this is looked upon as detrimental. This is one reason why sexuality is often regarded as low, carnal, animal, even dirty; for sexuality, if left unfettered, risks putting people out of control--and more importantly, out of religion's control. (North Atlantic Books, Frog Ltd., 1993, pg. 91.)
All in all, prostitution is just about commerce, supply and demand. Women have what most men want.
Some of those women are willing to sell it. If it is a legitimate job for a woman to give a man a non-sexual massage, rubbing her hands and massaging his body all over, except for the genitals, then why isn't it a legitimate job for a women to continue on into the sexual area. This is skin on skin, personal, intimate contact. (I'm talking about the non-sexual massage.)

Prostitution is consensual adult behavior that does not physically harm other people or their property. And, If both people involved, under the principle of inalieanable rights, fully and completely own the property of their bodies and their minds, then such sexual behavior would be their inalienable right and no law could be passed to prohibit it.

However, since prostitution, as well as certain mind-altering drugs, are still illegal, I say that the concept of inalienable rights is a myth.  Yes,we are free in America ... free to do whatever the government allows us to.

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